I popped In from Twitter, the tweet spoke to me. Then I saw the title and I instantly knew exactly what you were talking about. The scene, the move, the rats. As I read this it’s like you’re writing for me but it’s my dad with the movies. I’m not entirely clued into the exact situation with your mother but I know for me there’s been no more destructive forced in my world then mine. My breasts came in and at 4th grade I was a full C cup. Worse still I had a male teacher who talked to my chest for the next 3 years I was in elementary school. That same year I went to a gym with my friend for the first time. I’m clueless, a child. I went to dance class, gymnastics and ice skating, that was my world so I show up in a leotard. Give me a small break because it was the 80’s but I didn’t have tights or stretch pants. We get out of the car and my friend’s dad gives me a up and down look over and focusing on my chroch, points and says “you know you’re supposed to shave that off, body hair makes girls look dirty”. I look down and a few tiny pubic hairs are peeking out. He was over 40 and I was 9 or 10? Mortified, I don’t think I have ever been more embarrassed to that moment. We went in and I went into the bathroom and ripped them out. It hurt and I cried. I called my dad and he came and picked me up. That night I shaved everything off. Every body hair, arms, pits, legs, pubes, everything. I had to swipe one of mom’s razors to do it. She got mad I got in trouble until I told her what happened. His wife got a call, and I’m sure he got in trouble. To this day I have trouble letting my body hair just be. He wasn’t the first man to cause damage, he wasn’t the last he was just many in a list of men who point or push, touch, or punch. They mold us, and sometimes I’m just play dough.
Once again, speaking directly to my heart. The fear of trying to be my best in case I should fail runs deep within me to this day. Luckily, I have newsletters from amazing women to help remind me that I am not alone.
When I was younger, I watched The Blue Lagoon when my parents were asleep. I also watched Fame on HBO so many times! I loved to see people performing! I was too scared to watch horror films. :)
I often think about what it means that Pretty Woman was my favorite movie as a kid. I used to dress up like Vivian at, like, age 6! I didn’t fully grasp her occupation or what that movie was about but looking back it makes me sad for that little girl.
Can’t say I have a lot of memories of movies as a child, but I know happy family type movies were my family’s preferences (Home Alone type movies). I do so relate to what you said about the common details of your life making other people squirm though. One of the scariest things for me is telling a story and seeing people face shift to pity or grave concern. It’s almost as though people think this look is helping when it’s actually making it worse. I swear their eyes are like, “that’s really bad. You know that’s really terrible, right?” Anyway… thank you for sharing portions of your life with us. It means a lot.
I popped In from Twitter, the tweet spoke to me. Then I saw the title and I instantly knew exactly what you were talking about. The scene, the move, the rats. As I read this it’s like you’re writing for me but it’s my dad with the movies. I’m not entirely clued into the exact situation with your mother but I know for me there’s been no more destructive forced in my world then mine. My breasts came in and at 4th grade I was a full C cup. Worse still I had a male teacher who talked to my chest for the next 3 years I was in elementary school. That same year I went to a gym with my friend for the first time. I’m clueless, a child. I went to dance class, gymnastics and ice skating, that was my world so I show up in a leotard. Give me a small break because it was the 80’s but I didn’t have tights or stretch pants. We get out of the car and my friend’s dad gives me a up and down look over and focusing on my chroch, points and says “you know you’re supposed to shave that off, body hair makes girls look dirty”. I look down and a few tiny pubic hairs are peeking out. He was over 40 and I was 9 or 10? Mortified, I don’t think I have ever been more embarrassed to that moment. We went in and I went into the bathroom and ripped them out. It hurt and I cried. I called my dad and he came and picked me up. That night I shaved everything off. Every body hair, arms, pits, legs, pubes, everything. I had to swipe one of mom’s razors to do it. She got mad I got in trouble until I told her what happened. His wife got a call, and I’m sure he got in trouble. To this day I have trouble letting my body hair just be. He wasn’t the first man to cause damage, he wasn’t the last he was just many in a list of men who point or push, touch, or punch. They mold us, and sometimes I’m just play dough.
Once again, speaking directly to my heart. The fear of trying to be my best in case I should fail runs deep within me to this day. Luckily, I have newsletters from amazing women to help remind me that I am not alone.
When I was younger, I watched The Blue Lagoon when my parents were asleep. I also watched Fame on HBO so many times! I loved to see people performing! I was too scared to watch horror films. :)
I often think about what it means that Pretty Woman was my favorite movie as a kid. I used to dress up like Vivian at, like, age 6! I didn’t fully grasp her occupation or what that movie was about but looking back it makes me sad for that little girl.
Can’t say I have a lot of memories of movies as a child, but I know happy family type movies were my family’s preferences (Home Alone type movies). I do so relate to what you said about the common details of your life making other people squirm though. One of the scariest things for me is telling a story and seeing people face shift to pity or grave concern. It’s almost as though people think this look is helping when it’s actually making it worse. I swear their eyes are like, “that’s really bad. You know that’s really terrible, right?” Anyway… thank you for sharing portions of your life with us. It means a lot.
The Blue Lagoon (a “naughty” one)
Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael
Trading Places
Planes Trains and Automobiles lol
And DEFINITELY the Joy Luck Club